GreenPrints Sampler: Gardening Humor–get FREE access right now!

Why so serious? Plant some gardening humor between the marigolds and mint for a bouquet of laughs. This FREEBIE takes a fun look at the silly side of gardening, giving you a chance to remember that gardening is always a work in progress.

Dear Gardener,

What kind of gardener are you? Do you like to turnip the beet? Maybe you’re a little impatiens? Or perhaps you like to take your thyme and enjoy a peas-ful afternoon with your hands in the soil? One thing is for sure, from sunflowers to rain showers, some gardening humor might be one of the most beneficial ingredients in a successful garden. And this FREEBIE, GreenPrints Sampler: Gardening Humor, is chock full of chortles, chuckles, giggles, and guffaws.

And let’s be honest, who among us hasn’t forgotten to water the garden or let our melons and morning glories get tangled up? We can either get upset or find humor in the situation, all while spending an entire day trying to disentangle runners from vines. Not that you or I have done that, but I’m sure someone has.

So if you’d like to take a walk on the lighter side of gardening, this FREEBIE, GreenPrints Sampler: Gardening Humor, is the place to start your seeds. Full of entertaining stories, beautiful art, gardening lessons, and life lessons, you’ll be glad-iolus you found these stories as you laugh your way to a beautiful garden. Here’s a look at what you can expect.

The Most Important Tool

Gardening doesn’t always go as planned, as writer Inez Castor discovered while weeding one day. Here’s how her story begins.

The other day, I noticed that our normally well-behaved squash patch was tossing like a small boat on a choppy sea. On closer inspection, I found a pair of half-grown black-and-white pigs eating zucchini, with more enthusiasm than zucchini usually engenders.

If you’ve ever been faced with the problem, you already know that it is not possible for one person to herd two pigs out of anything as succulent as summer squash. Believe me, I tried. The only results were trampled squash and hyperactive pigs.

If you’ve ever held onto the south end of a northbound pig, you might recognize this dilemma. And if you haven’t? Well, it’s best to be prepared. Check out the FREEBIE, GreenPrints Sampler: Gardening Humor, so you know which tool is especially important when you need to remove a pig from your garden–or when you come across any unexpected gardening event.

My No-Grow Azaleas

Gardener Robert Christensen faced a mystery. When he planted his azaleas, they had plenty of space, plenty of sunshine, and thrived for several years, lighting up with a beautiful display of dazzling white blossoms each spring. And then?

They just. Stopped. Growing. Robert meticulously inspected each plant and the soil for any signs of infestations or disease. Nothing. Then he consulted with fellow gardeners. They’d come over for an inspection and find nothing wrong. Next, his inquiry expanded to garden centers, the local Farm Bureau and the County Extension Office. Nothing.

He even discussed his azalea problem with fellow commuters waiting for the bus. Then on the bus. After a few days of this, the bus driver changed his pre-trip announcement: “No tobacco. No alcohol. No cell phones. And does anybody know why healthy azaleas would suddenly stop growing?”

Then one day, he stopped at a traffic light, made eye contact with another driver, and motioned for him to roll down his window. When he did, Robert asked him if he knew anything about azaleas. To his surprise, the driver answered:

What did he tell Robert that helped solve the mystery? The answer isn’t what you might expect.

Read the FREEBIE, GreenPrints Sampler: Gardening Humor, to find out what happened to the azaleas and how you can avoid the same fate.

One Disastrous Mistake

When Bobbie Cyphers went to speak at a horticultural society symposium, one attendee took her by surprise.

Scheduled to talk about the highs and lows of running a nursery and retail shop, Bobbie headed to a conference room to see every chair occupied. Her notes never made it out of her pocket because the lecture was instantly hijacked by 45 minutes of Q&A.

“How much start-up money do you need?” “How many hours do you work?” “Twelve. Except in Spring, it’s more like 16 hours.” “A day?” “Yes. But it’s true, too, that not for one minute of even one of those 16-hour days in all the years I’ve been working them, have I ever been bored.”

Smiles ripple through the room and a few stars glistened again in their eyes. But the most heartfelt thank you Bobbie received that day came from a slender brunette with a beautiful creamy complexion—untouched by either blistering sun or raging wind—and a killer manicure.

What happened next? Read the FREEBIE, GreenPrints Sampler: Gardening Humor, to find out, and learn about the one disastrous mistake that could have changed the history of gardening (at least for one person).

Remember, gardening is a journey, not a destination. Unless you’re going to the gardening shop, in which case it is a destination. But no matter, some gardening humor always makes the path more fun.

In our FREEBIE, GreenPrints Sampler: Gardening Humor, you’ll find stories to make you chortle, chuckle, giggle, and guffaw. Whether it’s narrowly avoiding a disastrous mistake that surely would ruin a perfect manicure, or the one tool every gardener needs, you can read about it in this sampler.

And did I mention that it’s FREE?

I hope this freebie adds some lightness and joy to your gardening adventures and gives you some insight and inspiration to grow the garden you want. Go grab GreenPrints Sampler: Gardening Humor and enjoy a few laughs on us.

Sincerely,

Amanda MacArthur
Daily Editor
GreenPrints