Doing Battle with Animals in the Garden

A simple outing to collect seeds turns into a sidesplitting standoff with some feathered animals in the garden.

Canadian Geese seem almost idyllic, gliding across the sky in their V-formation, honking out, I don’t know, directions maybe? Normally, I love the idea of animals in the garden, or anywhere, but not too long ago, I went for a walk in a local park that’s well-known for hosting a large number of Canadian Geese.

If you’ve only seen them flying overhead, you might not realize how big these birds are. Their bodies are around knee high and their heads come up to your waist. A lot of people will sit and feed the geese, so they are accustomed to approaching people. Usually, that’s fine. I don’t feed them, but it’s fun to have a flock of squawking geese follow you for a few yards.

I think I met the wrong geese that day, though. They approached me, and, as you might guess, were expecting food. I kept walking. They kept walking. I picked up my pace a little. So did the geese.

Then two of them sped up and were walking next to me. I decided to turn off the path and walk through the grass. And the geese followed, squawking more loudly and insistently with almost every step. I was beginning to wonder what the newspaper headline would be: Gang of Geese Eat Woman in Park. Or maybe, This Woman Didn’t Know Geese Were Carnivores. She Does Now.

Luckily, a group of teens came biking through and chased the geese away. “Watch out for those geese,” they told me. “That’s the third time this weekend we’ve seen them go after someone.”

As it turns out, geese aren’t the only feathered predators. Roosters can be just as frightening, as Jennifer Bennett shares in her story, “Feathers and Fuss”. Her hilarious tale of her stand off with a mean old rooster will definitely make me think twice about coming across birds in the garden.

Enjoy More Gardening Stories About Animals in the Garden (Both Ornery and Nice)

This story comes from our archive that spans over 30 years and includes more than 130 magazine issues of GreenPrints. Pieces like these that turn stories about animals in the garden into everyday life lessons always brighten up my day, and I hope this story does for you as well. Enjoy!

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Feathers and Fuss

Faceoff with a feisty rooster.

By Jennifer Bennett

One evening after supper, I grabbed an empty quart jar, slipped on my flip-flops, and drove down to my sister’s house to harvest some coreopsis seeds. Her car was not in the driveway, and the porch light told me they would be away until after dark. I knew she wouldn’t mind, so I began plucking the long, dry seeds and plopping them into my jar. The sun was sinking behind the pines, bringing relief to the hot day. I took my time, enjoying the playfulness of the two cats beside the flowerbed and the soft clucks of the chickens as they feasted on insects around the yard. It was the picture of peacefulness—until I noticed Roostie eyeing me.

He was a tall, proud Buff Orpington who had the air of a ruler, and his confidence was a little unnerving. He kept his hens close with muffled clucks and subtle struts, never taking his eye off me for long. We watched each other while we worked. Eventually I sensed that we had both come to an unspoken agreement to stay on our own sides of the flowerbed.

My jar was about a quarter of the way full when I got into some ants. I looked down and they were all over my feet. Naturally I tried to stomp them off. As I leaned over to brush them with my hand, my apron flapped like the cape of a matador and ignited fury in the hot-blooded bird.

He crowed full volume and charged me like a bull.

I jerked upright and, not knowing what else to do, screamed. It didn’t faze him. He kept coming full throttle.

In a brief moment of indignation, I remembered my seeds. I held my Mason jar tight, puffed up my (imagined) feathers, and stomped toward Roostie. He had some nerve!

All of that happened in about two seconds, and then he was upon me. He grabbed the back of my leg, which means I must have turned to run at the last second. I screamed again. He let go only because he hadn’t been able to dig in good. In the split second it took him to regain his footing, I snatched a gladiolus out of the ground to defend myself. It gave him pause. I thought he was backing down, but he was only calculating the effectiveness of my weapon. I swooshed it at him in a threatening way. It went limp. His beady little eyes went from my listless sword up to my own eyes. He saw fear. There was only one thing for me to do. I threw it at him and ran to the shed.

Once inside I looked for a weapon that would knock that smirk off his beak. I grabbed the rake and paused, trembling with a mixture of fear and rage much like a soldier about to charge out of the trenches. I kicked open the door. Roostie was there with his hens. I showed him my rake and was satisfied to see what I thought was a new respect gleaming in his eye. I confidently walked back to my position at the coreopsis plants, determined not to let this little skirmish derail my ambition.

In a few minutes I had my jar filled about halfway. Unfortunately I was not enjoying myself as much. My ant bites were burning like fire, and I was still mad. The rake lay near enough for me to retrieve if Roostie came back.

Roostie must have been brooding, too, because he did return, demanding satisfaction. He rushed at me, sparking a fresh terror that triggered the instinct to flee. I resisted. My heart raced as I stood my ground. I put down my Mason jar, picked up the rake, and waited for him to get close enough so that my weapon would have optimum impact. It was like a scene from Braveheart.

There was a narrow window of opportunity to carry out my plan. I held back until Roostie was almost at my feet. If I swung too soon, I’d miss my one chance. If I waited a moment too long, he would overtake me. But the timing of my swing was perfect. The rake scooped Roostie up and flung him backwards about six feet before he tucked and rolled like a trained professional. He was back on his feet in seconds. I knew I must take advantage of the momentum I had gained. Yelling, I charged him with my rake raised, ready to strike again. I had murder in my heart. I would have killed him, but stopped abruptly when I noticed Roostie had taken one step back.

I could hardly believe it. I lowered the rake a little, and we stood facing each other for a moment. I would show him mercy if he would walk away. We were speaking with our eyes again. His internal struggle must have been enormous, but wisdom prevailed. He stepped away and called his hens to follow.

I breathed a sigh of relief and returned the rake to the shed. I cautiously peeked out of the shed before I slipped out, picked up my jar of seeds, and headed back to my car, wondering if a jar of flower seeds was really worth all the feathers and fuss.

By Jennifer Bennett, published originally in 2020, in GreenPrints Issue #123. Illustrated by Tim Foley

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What’s your experience with birds and other animals in the garden? Have you had a standoff with a feathered creature? Leave a comment! 


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